Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
