i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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