THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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