I wish my penis had an off switch
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I see more hoeing in ur future
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
