You're my little dorito
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
