Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
