The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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