I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm drive I can fine osifer
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
