im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw a hot homeless man
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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