how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
