who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize