I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
