Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
