i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
