Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
