wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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