I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
