Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
