He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My pussy is not your playground.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
