We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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