dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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