Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
