I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
