"it" just moved
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
