Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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