The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
