No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
