Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
