I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize