so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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