The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize