Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
