drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize