from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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