Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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