You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
