just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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