why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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