She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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