Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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