Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
