If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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