she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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