I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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