Welp...herpes.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
