I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
