Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
