that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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