Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
