That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
