and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
