she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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