my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize