Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we're making bets on your personal life
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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