ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
