so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
