her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
