I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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