I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize