you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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