Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
