found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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