I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
